Helping others is one of the greatest opportunities that presents itself.  Most of us experience joy when we have been able to ease the journey for some one else. But there does come a time when we have to ask ourselves if we are helping or hindering the journey another person is here to make.   I have had to learn this the hard way.  I was a master enabler.  Perhaps this is a new term for you.  It means to help another person “to a fault.”  I used to easily get emotionally ensnared by others whom I thought couldn’t live without my direction, my protection, even my doing for them what was specifically theirs to do.  I have talked about this before in other blogs because I know it’s a syndrome that affects many of us.  Picking up the pieces of some one else’s life rather than letting them move their own pieces around has the ultimate effect of destroying the relationship and in the worst of cases, destroying the very spirit of the other person. Not helping isn’t always a bad thing.  We have to consider who the person is and what the needs are.  Getting a loved one out of jail after a drunken escapade isn’t helpful, in most instances.  Paying bills for a friend or a child who has the means but not the inclination to pay their own way isn’t helpful either.  We need to constantly ask ourselves before offering help if what we are considering is to benefit ourselves, in a manipulative way, or truly a loving gesture that can bring lasting joy to another person.  Pausing a moment to seek our own inner guidance before offering to help is the wisest thing we can do.

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